Once in a while you read lines synchronous to your line of thought. I am all for reflections this end of the year and not resolutions. Resolutions mostly hound as forceful goals while reflections tell you to take a deep breath in the moment, in the present tense and focus. We all deal with many insecurities and we all do it differently. Since the beginning of 2014, mine starkly stared at me. It was challenging to identify and accept that the demons always existed. So, I am not really JUST the happy-go-lucky wanderer, strong willed, no nonsense, staunch independent, know-it-all, free-friend-counselor I thought I was?
While it was troublesome to suddenly be fearful, challenged for time and resources, and mostly be on the receiving end of unconditional love and care of friends and family, it was simultaneously the most gratifying realization – such love has always existed and continues to. In the rush of life and controlling it all, when did I stop enjoying being cared for and let it go? When did healthy balance of self esteem go awry to engulf the heart and erode the mind?
A year of transitions, 2014 gave me the job I wanted to do, made me take a plunge towards things I only fantasized for years, be in love again and ensured consistency of my wanderlust ability of stepping out of my comfort zone – on not one but many occasions. The humdrum of learning-unlearning, investing efforts-minimizing expectations, a little bit of pulling in and little bit of pushing back caused a catalyzing effect that I was sure about when I jotted down my first Random Post in a blog created to curate. Maybe 2015 will be the year of curate. Maybe few things could have been done better. Maybe losing oneself was not wise. Maybe its was though…to realize the value of organize in the clutter.
In probably the last random tenth post of the first year of taking up this hidden respite of blogging, I exude and conclude with the synchronous lines that I only hope make you reflect on something beautiful you experienced this year too 🙂
“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.
There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby.
Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” -Bob Marley